Salami Shame

Special-K and I were outside a local food shop waiting for our co-worker, The Ninja, to complete her purchase. The Ninja could see us through the window and we wanted to crack her up, so K took a piece of some sliced salami and fed it to me in a sort of dramatic, seductive fashion. I was standing there with my mouth open, baby-bird-style, waiting. Now, I don’t expect you to think that’s a funny thing to do. It’s pretty weird I guess, but these things happen when you hang out with Special-K. And oh how we giggled about it.

Just a moment later I see this very attractive man I know walking towards me. I try to compose myself, but I’m still giggling over the salami feeding. We chat, but then K says something that makes me laugh pretty hard, and, to my horror, a piece of the salami that I had not quite finished chewing flew out of my mouth, carving a 6 foot high arc in the air and landing about 10 feet away.

A hot wave of mortification ran through my body. Followed by an hour of feeling like this:

Fuck.
Fu-uck.

So cold. So. Lonely
My brother, IT Guy, is always so awed by my ability to embarrass myself. In an effort to make sense of this particular incident he sorted out the data and plotted it into the line graph below.

More Food, Less Pain,
x-L

 

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5 thoughts on “Salami Shame

  1. Louise, once again, you are hilarious…and your brother too. I love the photos of you curled up in a ball. So sorry about the projectile salami.
    Where did you get that “reactions' feature?

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