I brunched with a fellow single girlfriend this past Sunday. Over mimosas, we traded dating stories, most of which were giggle inducing tales of horror. It’s difficult to convey just how bizarre, and fun, and ridiculous it can be dating in your late 30’s/early 40’s. But she understands all too well, and we laughed for a solid hour at each other’s adventures.
Those of you who are in this very position understand. At this point in our lives, we care less about the outcome of a date than we did when we were in our twenties. We enjoy dating and flirting more, because we have a level of confidence now that can’t be shaken. We can brush off rejection with a refreshing ease. (Ok, so it may occasionally take a few tears and glasses of Cabernet before we can move on, but our recovery is quicker!) It’s clear to us that our dating woes are not real problems, and that there are bigger issues in our lives and in the world to attend to. And so we keep those “woes” in their box, and only wind them up and let them pop out for amusement purposes. Like when we’re drinking mimosas with a girlfriend who understands.
The biggest benefit of course is that we don’t waste a lot of time and energy on anyone that is not right for us.
On Sunday, my friend reminded me about her strategy for avoiding a certain guy’s phone call. She exchanged numbers with him late one night, knowing full and well that she would NEVER take his call. She had never met him, but he seemed harmless and fun, and so she danced with him. It wasn’t until they started talking that she realized just how weird he was. She admits she was tipsy and feeling too on-the-spot to just say “no” to his request to trade numbers. So instead of saying “no”, she saved his number like this:
She is the best, and I’m totally buying her mimosas this Sunday.
More Food, Less Pain,