When You Work With Your Brother

My brother, IT Guy, and I work for the same company. Mercifully, we don’t have much interaction. When we do, we make a point of trying to wind each other up. Sometimes tempers flare, but most of the time we just crack ourselves up trying to annoy each other.

Some paperwork that he was responsible for returning to my department got lost this week. We both looked and followed every trail we could, but could not find it.

This happens, but I still couldn’t resist giving him his own special in-box in my department.

This was previously our “Plans for World Domination” in-box, but we were disappointed in the submissions.

You know how I know my brother is gay? Pink Post-its.

The paperwork turned up this morning, on his desk, with a note from a pretty co-worker. Turns out she had grabbed them off his desk by mistake a few days ago. He sent us the above picture, via email, to let us know they were found. And he promised to return them ASAP. Now she is way too cute to get frustrated with, so we kept the heat on IT guy, and held him to his promise to return them this morning.

Hot guys: I would never actually do this.
I just did it for my blog fans.

By 1pm, he had not returned them, so my co-workers & I journeyed through the heat and humidity (by car) to his office, 200 yards from ours. (I like to call where we work a “campus”, just to make it sound more interesting. It hasn’t caught on.) He was out to lunch with most of his department. We are related, so I wasn’t shocked that food took priority over the paperwork.

Our plan for revenge was formed. We’d eat his department’s last sticky bun from Seven Stars (they get them every Friday), and steal some items from his desk to hold as ransom. I was too busy scraping the pastry box clean of any caramelized pecan pieces into my mouth to notice that the invoices were actually on his desk, in plain view. Maybe I got some pecan bits in my eyes or something.

From his desk we took an award he recently won, along with his precious cactus. Then we sent our ransom note via email.

The subject line read:

If you want your stuff, we’ll need the invoices and more sticky buns. 10, unmarked sticky buns by 16:00. Today.

And it included the following two pictures:

I’d like the thank the academy, 
sweet baby jesus, 
and my seventeen cats. 
I love it. Thank you Chris! I don’t care what 
Louise says, you’re the wicked nicest guy ever!

He responded with a link to this video, asking us to 
“please replace ‘daughter’, with ‘cactus’, and pretend that’s me”. 
My response
“You wanna know where your stuff is?”
Pauly-D’s response
Special-K’s response
“If you dare come looking…”

My brother’s final video response, which I should warn you is ABSOLUTELY DISTURBING.

To which I replied
“Now would be a good time to come get your stuff, since I’m paralyzed with the giggles and unable to defend myself.”

But it wasn’t over yet. He, in an attempt to get us to bring the items to him, rather than come get them himself, sent us this picture, saying:

“Ok, you win, give me back my cactus.”
I ALMOST fell for it. 
Happy Friday everyone!

More Food, Less Pain, 


8 thoughts on “When You Work With Your Brother

  1. Attention all blog readers (or, as i refer to you: “Bleaders”):
    Once you are done laughing your pants off, please try to remember that my cactus is still missing and may be in danger. What kind of monsters hold a helpless yet hardy and succulent plant hostage? “Mr. Prickles” could die in as little as 8-12 months if he is not watered!

    Please send money!

    – it guy

    PS: don't feed my sister

  2. Can I be part of your family?! I work with my brother and it is no where near this fun/entertaining. PLEEEEEEEASE? The sticky buns are also a draw… gotta be honest.

  3. Dear IT Guy,
    Your plight has come to the attention of the UK arm of GWOP (Guys With Office Plants). I have my own Cactus (Little Miss Needles)that went missing for a whole TWO WEEKS once following an office move, so I know a little of what you must be going through. Myself and fellow UK GWOP's will be holding a vidual in our local pub this Sat night. We will pass round an empty flower pot to signify your loss and to collect as much cash as possible to go towards the ransom. In the meantime perhaps I could suggest that you seek out a local branch of GWOP (I think they exist in the US) and form an 'Action Plan'.
    Wishing every condolence and praying for a successful outcome.

    Brit Guy.

  4. Dear Brit Guy,

    How foolish of you to try to reach out to IT Guy here on MY blog. As if I would share this info with him! He deserved to suffer through this, and besides, Mr. Prickles was returned safely one week later, upon the delivery of more sticky buns.

    Your comment will be erased momentarily, but in the spirit of fairness I will direct you to his blog: http://www.notasfunnyasmysister.com.

    Your group sounds like a bunch of pansies sitting around crying over their…well, pansies. GWOP? Does that also stand for Guys Without Penises?


  5. Yes, GWOP does have an alternative meaning….. that you have somehow correctly guessed (how did you know??).

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