Oh The Fucking Humidity

Leaving my air conditioned bedroom this morning, I was greeted with the shock of hot, irriguous air moving through my apartment. It was disgusting. My glasses fogged. A film of mucky, clammy slime collected on my skin. 


I try not complain about the weather. But I am a native New Englander, and to not grumble about it occasionally is culturally unacceptable here. Much like Manhattan clam chowder is.
And I think that when your couch feels wettish due to the humidity, you get to complain just a little. Right? 

I was curious about the percentage of humidity this morning, so I hacked into the internet to get a number. I needed a reference point for the next time my thighs are this this stuck together. I made an educated guess (1000%)* before looking it up. 

It was only 82%. How is that even possible, when inanimate objects are sweating? I got mad. Cried a little. Put two fans on me in hopes of drying out. Then I remembered one of my favorite weather websites: The Fucking Weather. Figured it would cheer me up.

And it did:
Fucking right, Fucking Weather!
More Food, Less Pain (and dampness),
xo-L
*Math geek friends: even though you know I suck at math, I want to be clear that I understand this number doesn’t make sense. It’s supposed to be funny. Get over yourselves and go get laid or something. 
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7 thoughts on “Oh The Fucking Humidity

  1. Oh, I love that link. It's so what I've been looking for – though 82$deg; is actually quite cool. It was 104° yesterday. It's practically nice here. One day out of like 45 but still cause for celebration. Good luck with your humidity.

  2. When I checked on Saturday night as we sat atop the Crows nest it was 100% but I still felt like this didn't truly express the fact that my clammy factor was 2006%

  3. 103 over here Weezy.!! but “It's a dry heat” (fuck that). I guess it's better than 82% humidity…. although I'm dreaming of an ocean and some sweat. because here it all evaporates immediately off of your skin. I don't get to feel any moisture! I'm parched. Although i AM glad that my couch isn't sweating.

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