BSCC Loses Michelin Star Rating

Jamestown’s famous resort, The Buoy Street Country Club, lost its last two Michelin stars this week.

Shortly after its inception, in August of 2010, the club earned kudos, respect and praise for its elegant and sophisticated lodging, dining and sporting offerings. First conceived as a upscale Cricket Club, complete with Pimms, cucumber sandwiches, and mandatory white attire, it quickly and successfully expanded into an all inclusive, world class resort.

The restaurant, with two ACF certified Master Chefs, and one Master Sommelier was a sure bet for success. But it was the cocktails that became all the rage, thanks to the CFO, Weather Girl, for whom mixology, in her words, “is merely a hobby.” Her concoctions, especially “The Tippy Canoe”, and “The Jamestown Home Run” made the Buoy Street Country Club a household name. “BSCC Cocktail Kits” were sold in liquor stores across the country, and even made the “O” list, in the December 2011 edition of Oprah Magazine.

The hotel, at its peak, was the best of its kind. Its operations were monitored with a white-glove precision by Weather Girl. The housekeeping staff would giggle along with her while she ranted about not wanting the hotel to “look like a frat house”. But this was also understood to be an important reminder to adhere to her strict standards of excellence.

This “frat house” comment, of course, would later come to haunt Weather Girl.

Just months after The BSCC opened it’s doors, Michelin awarded the maximum number of stars to both the restaurant (3) and the hotel (5). Then, in an unprecedented move that rocked the culinary and hospitality worlds alike, a “+” sign was added to their rating. “It is just that good!”, explained the CEO of Michelin, in an emergency press conference in October of 2010.

But all this success went to the heads of the owners. They got complacent, and too willing to rest on their laurels. Questionable decisions were made, and sketchy incidents began occurring. A small sampling:

  • Heineken inexplicably showed up on the beer menu.
  • A series of grease fires occurred at the outdoor grill.
  • Guests frequently were permitted to sleep in chairs in the lobby.
  • The numerous bird feeders stood empty for months.
These events accumulated into what became a clear and steady decline.
Without fanfare, and no doubt embarrassed by their initial enthusiasm, Michelin removed the “+” sign from The BSCC’s rating, and retired it completely from their ranking system. Then, like the Perseids on a clear evening, stars began falling in an awe inspiring display until only one remained for the restaurant, and one for the hotel.

This week, Michelin announced that it would be stripping away those final 2 stars. The decision, it is believed, was prompted by the events of Labor Day weekend, when the management made an ill-advised decision to host a function for a notorious group of engineers from a technology company based in Boston.

Rumors of organized sessions of Beer Pong, Flip Cup, and something called “Polish Horseshoes” were quickly confirmed by reliable sources. Satellite photos from that weekend show an inflatable bouncey house, cars park haphazardly on the once pristine cricket pitch, and something of a “tent city” adjacent to the outdoor dining deck.

Taken Labor Day Weekend, 2012

*a slight dramatization
Witnesses reported “frat house-like” antics, such as drunken foot massages, and women flashing their breasts. One credible witness, a hired designated driver, stated that she saw a female staff member canoodling with a younger male guest on the lawn at 4am. “It looked like maybe some awkward hugging was going on, I can’t be sure…” she trailed off, and shivered a little, as though traumatized by the event.

“I can neither deny nor confirm that these things happened.”, wrote the BSCC’s Human Resource Specialist, in the only public statement released so far.

Public reaction was mostly a mix of exasperation, and, well, more exasperation.

“I just don’t understand how a place with the best Smoked Bluefish in the world could also allow people to sleep, in various states of undress, on an air mattress, in their lobby!”, complained one disgruntled guest.

A recent diner expressed horror regarding the beverage service. “It was one thing when they switched from glass to plastic stemware for in the outdoor cafe, but to insist I drink my prosecco straight from the bottle? Is this some new trendy thing they’re doing in New York?”

One Labor Day guest, not affiliated with the Boston group, made this observation about them: “…these guys had their own language. It was an ugly combination of Dutch, and German, I think, and possibly English, though who would know really…all I know is that the sound of it haunts my dreams.”

The same guest went on to explain this puzzling incident: “Some crazy-eyed woman tried to draw a mustache on my face with her mascara. Her breath smelled of whiskey. I don’t know that I’ll return anytime soon.”

The owners did not return our calls for this article.

3 thoughts on “BSCC Loses Michelin Star Rating

  1. Ha ha Zazzy…I was wondering what people on the “outside” of this nonsense would think. I wrote it to crack up my friends, and as a thinly veiled account of a crazy weekend together. I won't say what happened and what didn't, but I'm sure you get the idea, yes? Thanks for reading, as always! 😉

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